I just realized Christmas Eve is 3 weeks from today. THREE FREAKING WEEKS! I dont have one single gift for anyone yet - nor do I even know what I am getting people. To be honest, I dont even know WHO I am buying gifts for! Regardless, my mom found a way to slip her *wish list* in my purse the other morning. Such a diva.
I on the other hand, just now decided what I want for Christmas. So Santa, I hope your listening...
1. Membership to American Counseling Association paid for. Yeah I said it. My dues please. Approx $91. Oh what the heck - throw in my renewal membership to American School Counselor Association which expires in January.
2. Textbooks for next semester.
3. Resources/books for my cute little bookcase Ill hopefully have in my office when I get my big girl job this year.
4. Fancy little zip up notebook carryer thing. I don't know. Basically I want to look professional when I carry my papers covered in my chicken scratch.
5. A thesaurus. Cough, cough - Santa please tell SAMMY thats her job...
We all know I need to expand my vocabulary. I dont want to spend my life writing college letters of recommendation writing the same three words... "hardworking, dedicated, and driven".
6. A gas card. Work, internship and classes? My gas tank and bank account currently despise me.
7. A mini fridge for my CAR. Im living in it. Be nice to be able to have a meal in the process.
8. Starbucks card. My current life line.
9. A car wash. I spend so much time in the darn thing I might as well get the gigantic red writing "187" cleaned off my windows...
10. and Time. I want more time. I want time to ENJOY such a wonderful time of year. I want to be able to look at Christmas lights and listen to Christmas music. Not sleeping in my car from one job to the next.
So you listen up Santa! Press pause. Or give me a huge snow day so I can sit at home in my Redskins pjs and enjoy the moment.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Defining oneself
How do you define define?
To me its description, relation, explanation - etc. How do you define yourself? For some odd reason I have been thinking about how I define myself a lot recently. Maybe its the fact that Im very much stuck in my mid-twenties. Regardless, I have been defining myself in various ways. I have defined myself by my education. I am not married, nor am I anywhere close to that point. I do not have children. I am not in my career. My education is who I am. I am not the wife, the mother, or the career woman - etc. I am the forever student who is married to her education, gave birth to her education, and who works her tail off for it.
Up until yesterday I defined myself by my education.
I was talking with my boyfriend and I asked how he defined himself. His answer was unbelievable. He didnt define his "roles" in life. More so defined his personalty traits. I told him my definition of myself. "My education defines me" I said. He looked at me like I was crazy. He told me how he would define me. It really made me think.
So now as I sit at this computer with piles of school paper next to me, a work phone ringing off the hook, and a to do list like you have never seen before, I realize that school does not define me. It is very very important to me. At this point in my education I pretty much sleep and breathe it. But it is not who I am. It is helping me to become who I will be. So Im still thinking of ways to define me. But I will say one...so freaking fierce.
To me its description, relation, explanation - etc. How do you define yourself? For some odd reason I have been thinking about how I define myself a lot recently. Maybe its the fact that Im very much stuck in my mid-twenties. Regardless, I have been defining myself in various ways. I have defined myself by my education. I am not married, nor am I anywhere close to that point. I do not have children. I am not in my career. My education is who I am. I am not the wife, the mother, or the career woman - etc. I am the forever student who is married to her education, gave birth to her education, and who works her tail off for it.
Up until yesterday I defined myself by my education.
I was talking with my boyfriend and I asked how he defined himself. His answer was unbelievable. He didnt define his "roles" in life. More so defined his personalty traits. I told him my definition of myself. "My education defines me" I said. He looked at me like I was crazy. He told me how he would define me. It really made me think.
So now as I sit at this computer with piles of school paper next to me, a work phone ringing off the hook, and a to do list like you have never seen before, I realize that school does not define me. It is very very important to me. At this point in my education I pretty much sleep and breathe it. But it is not who I am. It is helping me to become who I will be. So Im still thinking of ways to define me. But I will say one...so freaking fierce.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Embracing your flaws
First thing is first. Embrace your flaws. In order to be happy, successful, - and most importantly FIERCE - you have to know your flaws and love them. Love them to the point that they no longer become the burden of the flaw.
To prove my point, I will put a few of them out there. Oh yes, the only child is showing ownership! Remember this day - because I dont do it too often...
1. I am always late. I have accepted this a long time ago. I am late to everything I do. Do not take it personally. It is not you. Its me. Gosh, I felt like we just broke up. But really, Im late. If im on time - something is wrong.
2. I take on TOO much. I commit to too many jobs, tasks, plans, assignments, meetings, clubs, organizations, and positions.
3. I dont get enough sleep. That girl in the starbucks parking lot you see sleeping before she goes in to get her 3rd cup of coffee? Yeah - thats me.
4. I have newly discovered that I have road rage. Its pretty bad. Im pretty sure it will get me in big trouble one day.
5. I cannot spell and I my grammar is terrible. Thank God for spell-check.
6. I am the mouthy Redskins fan. I embrace the hell out of this. Its not a flaw to be a Redskins fan by any means. But the mouth and the amount of talking I do is pretty unladylike.
7. I am 100% addicted to my blackberry. I will lie right to your face about my addiction - but its pretty bad.
8. If I didnt write it down I will forget it.
9. I have a hard time telling people how I feel. My gut - my honest feelings. You will probably never know. Unless your name is sam. Then I crush you all the time :)
10. THIS THIS THIS! read this! this is trueee! love love loveeee!
...and for those of you who cant embrace your own flaws - or mine. Well then take a slice of this...
To prove my point, I will put a few of them out there. Oh yes, the only child is showing ownership! Remember this day - because I dont do it too often...
1. I am always late. I have accepted this a long time ago. I am late to everything I do. Do not take it personally. It is not you. Its me. Gosh, I felt like we just broke up. But really, Im late. If im on time - something is wrong.
2. I take on TOO much. I commit to too many jobs, tasks, plans, assignments, meetings, clubs, organizations, and positions.
3. I dont get enough sleep. That girl in the starbucks parking lot you see sleeping before she goes in to get her 3rd cup of coffee? Yeah - thats me.
4. I have newly discovered that I have road rage. Its pretty bad. Im pretty sure it will get me in big trouble one day.
5. I cannot spell and I my grammar is terrible. Thank God for spell-check.
6. I am the mouthy Redskins fan. I embrace the hell out of this. Its not a flaw to be a Redskins fan by any means. But the mouth and the amount of talking I do is pretty unladylike.
7. I am 100% addicted to my blackberry. I will lie right to your face about my addiction - but its pretty bad.
8. If I didnt write it down I will forget it.
9. I have a hard time telling people how I feel. My gut - my honest feelings. You will probably never know. Unless your name is sam. Then I crush you all the time :)
10. THIS THIS THIS! read this! this is trueee! love love loveeee!
...and for those of you who cant embrace your own flaws - or mine. Well then take a slice of this...
An Ode to The Core
...the people have spoken. A lot. Bring back the blog! Alright. Here goes nothing. No pressure or anything, right?
Let me start by saying that I dedicate this to the core. What is the core? Ah, I thought you'd never ask...
The core. Well - my verision of the core is the core group of people in your life. They can be made up of a variety of different people - and by any means do not have to be apart of the same circles. My core is of a variety of ages, genders, races, and even gingers (yes - you gingers I consider you a breed of your own). Bringing together the core is a rarity, and I don't know if I have ever 100% successfully accomplished such a task. To be honest, I don't think my core could all sit in the same room together and love each other as much as I love each of them. Would my OCSer blend with my little emo nugget? It would be hard to say. Each of them has impacted me in a way they will probably never know - taught me a lesson about life or myself - that no one else could have. Are all of my friends apart of my core? No. That wouldn't make sense. Core can be defined as the central, innermost, or most essential part of anything. If everyone was defined this way then it would lose its meaning. I would never shout from the rooftops who my core is. I dont want to hurt anyone or make anyone's head already bigger than it is ;) But I will say one thing - its a fierce title to have - and by god - get real with your own core.
Thats my core. You define your core. And sometimes, your core defines you.
Okay, so I had to get a little emo to start with. But I have a few topics of my sleeve that are pretty "real". So prepare yourselves - and don't say I didn't warn you. After all - this is an ode to getting real...
Let me start by saying that I dedicate this to the core. What is the core? Ah, I thought you'd never ask...
The core. Well - my verision of the core is the core group of people in your life. They can be made up of a variety of different people - and by any means do not have to be apart of the same circles. My core is of a variety of ages, genders, races, and even gingers (yes - you gingers I consider you a breed of your own). Bringing together the core is a rarity, and I don't know if I have ever 100% successfully accomplished such a task. To be honest, I don't think my core could all sit in the same room together and love each other as much as I love each of them. Would my OCSer blend with my little emo nugget? It would be hard to say. Each of them has impacted me in a way they will probably never know - taught me a lesson about life or myself - that no one else could have. Are all of my friends apart of my core? No. That wouldn't make sense. Core can be defined as the central, innermost, or most essential part of anything. If everyone was defined this way then it would lose its meaning. I would never shout from the rooftops who my core is. I dont want to hurt anyone or make anyone's head already bigger than it is ;) But I will say one thing - its a fierce title to have - and by god - get real with your own core.
Thats my core. You define your core. And sometimes, your core defines you.
Okay, so I had to get a little emo to start with. But I have a few topics of my sleeve that are pretty "real". So prepare yourselves - and don't say I didn't warn you. After all - this is an ode to getting real...
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
True Life: I Embody The OCS Person
Ahhh OCS, otherwise known as the infamous only child syndrome. You all know someone, who has OCS. As soon as you realize that they are an only child, everything becomes crystal clear to you. Ah yes, you say...thats why.
The OCS individual is constantly criticized, so I would like to clear the air for my fellow only children...in list form (of course)
1. We get what we want. Yes we do. BUT, we work hard for it. We deserve what we get. We get nice things, but remember its because we worked our tails off for it. We believe in the finer things in life, and we KNOW we deserve them.
2. We are spoiled by others around us. Lets be serious here. How can we help it if OTHERS spoil us? Haha, that sounded ridic - but really, we dont beg for things. We just get them. Maybe its peoples way of making up for the fact that it is "just us" in this world - no siblings to share with or to lean on.
3. We have to know EVERY DETAIL of EVERYTHING. We are going to dinner? WHERE? WHAT TIME? and the infamous...WHO IS GOING TO BE THERE? Alright, I have no defense in this. Seeing it written out makes me realize it is a bit silly.
4. Our values tend to be different than our peers. Sometimes we are seen in a negative light because of this. Work is very important...we do whatever it takes to get there and to get far. Friends are important as well as family. However, not in the way that our peers view.
5. We have learned to trust in ourselves. We have been burned. A lot. We dont have the support of siblings with family issues. We dont have the sibling you can tell anything to, that will be there no.matter.what. We have ourselves. It may sound sad, but hey - we are used to it.
6. We want the best for others around us. Compulsive people pleasers. At times can can backfire. It can be irritating to others, and hard on ourselves. People can take advantage, or not like being cared for in sometimes an "over the top" manner.
7. We LOVE our online time. We grew up alone, and are used to that. Never had to share our rooms with someone else. Alone time is crucial for us to recharge.
Next time you say "gosh he/she is SUCH an only child"...remember thats not always a bad thing. We are just misunderstood. Things are not GIVEN to us. Things dont just fall into our laps. We learned to be successful in order to get what we want.
We arent rubbing that success in others faces. We care about our fiends, family and even sometimes our foes more than we care about our own well-being. If I were you, I would give your little OCS sufferer a big fat kiss next time to see them, and remind them how fierce they really are :)
Here is me & my FAV fellow OCS sufferer
The OCS individual is constantly criticized, so I would like to clear the air for my fellow only children...in list form (of course)
1. We get what we want. Yes we do. BUT, we work hard for it. We deserve what we get. We get nice things, but remember its because we worked our tails off for it. We believe in the finer things in life, and we KNOW we deserve them.
2. We are spoiled by others around us. Lets be serious here. How can we help it if OTHERS spoil us? Haha, that sounded ridic - but really, we dont beg for things. We just get them. Maybe its peoples way of making up for the fact that it is "just us" in this world - no siblings to share with or to lean on.
3. We have to know EVERY DETAIL of EVERYTHING. We are going to dinner? WHERE? WHAT TIME? and the infamous...WHO IS GOING TO BE THERE? Alright, I have no defense in this. Seeing it written out makes me realize it is a bit silly.
4. Our values tend to be different than our peers. Sometimes we are seen in a negative light because of this. Work is very important...we do whatever it takes to get there and to get far. Friends are important as well as family. However, not in the way that our peers view.
5. We have learned to trust in ourselves. We have been burned. A lot. We dont have the support of siblings with family issues. We dont have the sibling you can tell anything to, that will be there no.matter.what. We have ourselves. It may sound sad, but hey - we are used to it.
6. We want the best for others around us. Compulsive people pleasers. At times can can backfire. It can be irritating to others, and hard on ourselves. People can take advantage, or not like being cared for in sometimes an "over the top" manner.
7. We LOVE our online time. We grew up alone, and are used to that. Never had to share our rooms with someone else. Alone time is crucial for us to recharge.
Next time you say "gosh he/she is SUCH an only child"...remember thats not always a bad thing. We are just misunderstood. Things are not GIVEN to us. Things dont just fall into our laps. We learned to be successful in order to get what we want.
We arent rubbing that success in others faces. We care about our fiends, family and even sometimes our foes more than we care about our own well-being. If I were you, I would give your little OCS sufferer a big fat kiss next time to see them, and remind them how fierce they really are :)
Here is me & my FAV fellow OCS sufferer
Friday, April 30, 2010
Here's to you rudey rude!
My day started off wonderful. I had a fantastic night, and a gorgeous morning to wake up to. Its my beautiful mother's birthday today, so I was looking forward to celebrating with her tonight. Work has been great and the coffee has been extra delicious. Lets face it, the coffee is always delicious.
One hour before I get off work! Glorious. Cannot wait to ride home with the windows down and blast my music. I may even do a little jig as I cruise down 270. I dont even care if I hit traffic. Thats how fantastic my mood is.
Then you call. You little rudey rude. Nasty person. I didn't realize just because you were miserable you had to make everyone else around you suffer as well. Is it your expensive lifestyle that makes you feel the need to be nasty to those around you? You called three times and were totally hid all three times. I will tell you right now that I will not allow your rudeness to ruin my day.
So as you sit at home miserable with stupid hair and a cold heart I will be cruising down 270 in traffic perfectly content in my non-fancy car.
The moral of the story? Next time I would suggest being nice to the receptionist if you want an appointment. Otherwise, I can add you to our pretty extensive waiting list ;)
Here's to you rudey rude!
One hour before I get off work! Glorious. Cannot wait to ride home with the windows down and blast my music. I may even do a little jig as I cruise down 270. I dont even care if I hit traffic. Thats how fantastic my mood is.
Then you call. You little rudey rude. Nasty person. I didn't realize just because you were miserable you had to make everyone else around you suffer as well. Is it your expensive lifestyle that makes you feel the need to be nasty to those around you? You called three times and were totally hid all three times. I will tell you right now that I will not allow your rudeness to ruin my day.
So as you sit at home miserable with stupid hair and a cold heart I will be cruising down 270 in traffic perfectly content in my non-fancy car.
The moral of the story? Next time I would suggest being nice to the receptionist if you want an appointment. Otherwise, I can add you to our pretty extensive waiting list ;)
Here's to you rudey rude!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
An Ode to Monica
Thats right ladies and gentlemen, I chose a fierce Ginger. Monica BY FAR has one of the best personalities I have ever come across in my entire life. She is freaking hysterical. Shes a raging red head - which def makes her extra fierce. Monica is the type of person where if you happen to be having a lame day (ie: did not get to perform morning dance off, sat in hid traffic, and have way too much to accomplish in 45 min) she will throw a bit of Monica wit on your situation and make you feel fierce once again. Her undying love for hooker heels, jcrew and the rage cage allows her a very special place in my heart. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for such a wonderful person - I just hope she keeps her all arts & sciences love under wraps. Get 'em Monica, you man-eater you!
Some of Heather's bridesmaids at one of her bridal showers!
Monica is the super hot ging with the gorg locks. OBVS
I know all of you are sitting on pins and needles waiting for your turn to be chosen. But just wait, your time will come my loves...if you are fierce enough.
Ps. if you want something extra hysterical to read to go along with the morning dance off I suggest you read my friend Orchid's blog at http://twirkid.blogspot.com
sorry for my lack of skills inserting the link. i couldn't figure it out and im short a cup of coffee today!
Some of Heather's bridesmaids at one of her bridal showers!
Monica is the super hot ging with the gorg locks. OBVS
I know all of you are sitting on pins and needles waiting for your turn to be chosen. But just wait, your time will come my loves...if you are fierce enough.
Ps. if you want something extra hysterical to read to go along with the morning dance off I suggest you read my friend Orchid's blog at http://twirkid.blogspot.com
sorry for my lack of skills inserting the link. i couldn't figure it out and im short a cup of coffee today!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
An Ode to the Morning Dance Off.
...before I crush this post I first want to take care of two things.
1. Recent lack of posting. To be honest, haven't really felt it. But hopefully that fierce spark will be reignited.
2. Dedication of this post to Ms. Erin Jeffress & Ms. Samantha Laraia. Erin has embraced the dance off from another state (love it)! Sammy has seen the morning dance off in all of its glory. Let me tell you, its life changing.
Now, the morning dance off. It should be noted that I crush it in the morning, however sometimes other times are quite necessary. Therefore, I urge each and every one of you to try it. Simply just put on a fierce mix. Sometimes I crush to 80s music. It really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you belt your little heart out. Have an intense dance off with yourself. Challenge yourself. Forget in that moment that long list of things you have to do that day, that week...
Enjoy your own presence. Laugh at your ridiculousness. Love every moment of it. Sometimes, I get carried away and it makes me late. But you know what? Being a few min late is worth the moment. It sets the tone for your entire day. So my little fiercys...dance your butts off. Do it to a song that you would normally be too embarrassed to jam to. Do it to a song that is older than you are. Do it to a song that you barely know the words to, but think you do. But most importantly do it to a song that makes you happy.
Friday, March 5, 2010
An Ode to Midterms
I would like to thank midterm week for the following:
1. weight loss. thank you midterms for allowing me to survive on coffee. so much coffee that is, that i am not hungry.
2. super hotttt bags under my eyes. sleep is has not been much of an option. i have woken up many times and had to write down something regarding my midterm paper.
3. failing bank account. coffee is pretty expensive theses days.
4. pile of laundry higher than i have ever seen. i even wore a top i HATED the other day just because i am running out of clean clothes.
5. hair that needs big time color work. chipped nails. back desperate to get a massage. no time to get it done.
6. an absence to a class. i know, big nerd over here shouldn't care. but i do. i skipped class to study! how lame am i?
7. a to-do list that is more than one page. now that, is so not fierce.
8. an empty blog.
i am too overworked and tired to think of numbers 9 & 10!
However, one last shout out to midterms for making me miss my friends :( cant wait to get back into the real world starting next week!! Here's to you midterms...ya jerk!
1. weight loss. thank you midterms for allowing me to survive on coffee. so much coffee that is, that i am not hungry.
2. super hotttt bags under my eyes. sleep is has not been much of an option. i have woken up many times and had to write down something regarding my midterm paper.
3. failing bank account. coffee is pretty expensive theses days.
4. pile of laundry higher than i have ever seen. i even wore a top i HATED the other day just because i am running out of clean clothes.
5. hair that needs big time color work. chipped nails. back desperate to get a massage. no time to get it done.
6. an absence to a class. i know, big nerd over here shouldn't care. but i do. i skipped class to study! how lame am i?
7. a to-do list that is more than one page. now that, is so not fierce.
8. an empty blog.
i am too overworked and tired to think of numbers 9 & 10!
However, one last shout out to midterms for making me miss my friends :( cant wait to get back into the real world starting next week!! Here's to you midterms...ya jerk!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
French Toast Casserole
Yesterday was my fierce friend Gerard's birthday. Since we did not work yesterday, we all decided to celebrate today at work. I know how much we all like to eat, especially breakfast as soon as we get to work so I decided to make a breakfast dish for everyone! I made a delish french toast casserole thanks to my dear friend Ms. Heather Stager! So fierce! Here the recipe!
1 loaf French Bread (12 pieces), cut into 1 inch slices
8 eggs
2 cups milk
2 cups half and half
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Topping
3/4 cup softened butter
1 1/3 cups brown sugar
3 tablespoons dark corn syrup
1 1/3 cups coarsely chopped pecans
Heavily butter a 13x9x2 baking dish, Fill pan with bread slices to within 1.2inch of top. Set aside. Mix eggs, milk, half and half, vanilla and cinnamon. Pour mixture over bread slices. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Make topping by combining all ingredients, set aside until time to bake and then place on top. Bake 350 degrees for 50 minutes until puffed and golden. (shield top with foil if top browns too quickly)
I made the icing last night too and had that sit in the fridge also. It wasn't too good of an idea because the icing was very thick this morning and I couldn't spread it around as much as I would have liked. I did once the dish had been in the oven for a few min though.
1 loaf French Bread (12 pieces), cut into 1 inch slices
8 eggs
2 cups milk
2 cups half and half
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Topping
3/4 cup softened butter
1 1/3 cups brown sugar
3 tablespoons dark corn syrup
1 1/3 cups coarsely chopped pecans
Heavily butter a 13x9x2 baking dish, Fill pan with bread slices to within 1.2inch of top. Set aside. Mix eggs, milk, half and half, vanilla and cinnamon. Pour mixture over bread slices. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Make topping by combining all ingredients, set aside until time to bake and then place on top. Bake 350 degrees for 50 minutes until puffed and golden. (shield top with foil if top browns too quickly)
I made the icing last night too and had that sit in the fridge also. It wasn't too good of an idea because the icing was very thick this morning and I couldn't spread it around as much as I would have liked. I did once the dish had been in the oven for a few min though.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
No Title Necessary
You ever just have a random thought in your mind? A simple thought that spirals into something much bigger? It then goes from something big to something you swear is going to be life changing. Im sure most of you have. As for me, that has been sparked by being snowed in for what feels like weeks. I dont have the deep life questions of, "who do I want to be", and "what do i want out of life". I know what I want, and I am comfortable with continuing to learn who I am. I know who I do not want to be. I am more questioning "what kind of people and things do I want to surround myself with"?
I know I want to surround myself with people who are goal-oriented, filled with a passion for life, laugh more than they cry (or cry with laughter), and people who will be there.
I heard this poem in class last Thursday that I had never heard before. It certainetly stirred up a lot of thought. Anyway, here is the poem, I found it here.
The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreamsfor the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closedfrom fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us tobe careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will standin the center of the fire
with meand not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.I want to know what sustains you
from the insidewhen all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
...if that isnt truly an ode to getting real, then I do not know that is. all jokes aside, i love everything about this.
I know I want to surround myself with people who are goal-oriented, filled with a passion for life, laugh more than they cry (or cry with laughter), and people who will be there.
I heard this poem in class last Thursday that I had never heard before. It certainetly stirred up a lot of thought. Anyway, here is the poem, I found it here.
The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreamsfor the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closedfrom fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us tobe careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will standin the center of the fire
with meand not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.I want to know what sustains you
from the insidewhen all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
...if that isnt truly an ode to getting real, then I do not know that is. all jokes aside, i love everything about this.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
An Ode to the Snooze
...this one's for you Gerry!
At work today, I was approached with a fantastic question: "Where would we all be without the snooze button?" I can tell you where I would be. In a foul mood that's for sure! I feel that I underestimate my NEED for frequent snooze sessions. I hit the snooze at least three times every morning. Who created this wonderful concept? I would love to shake his or her hand. Thank you snooze for allowing me to function at work from that last 5 min of awkward half sleep.
At work today, I was approached with a fantastic question: "Where would we all be without the snooze button?" I can tell you where I would be. In a foul mood that's for sure! I feel that I underestimate my NEED for frequent snooze sessions. I hit the snooze at least three times every morning. Who created this wonderful concept? I would love to shake his or her hand. Thank you snooze for allowing me to function at work from that last 5 min of awkward half sleep.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
I am lucky...
I woke up this morning, and realized how lucky I am. I typically wake up and rage on my alarm clock, fighting for every last second of sleep possible. Not today. I sat in traffic for over an hour. I typically spend that time raging at the randoms on the road, who in my eyes "caused the traffic because they dont know how to drive". Not today. I sipped my sugar-free redbull (thanks heather) and laughed at the radio talk host. I have so much going on, so much that i feel like I dont even have time to just sit and think about how lucky I am.
I decided that if I write a list of all of the reasons that I am lucky then it will make it more eye-opening, I can see it in front of me instead of the thoughts dancing around in my head. I have totally rejected the idea of punctuation, capitalization, spelling - etc in this post so its more real and natural for me. So without further a due, I am lucky because...
1. i have fantastic friends. i know i say it a lot but I really mean it. I feel like I have the most amazing friends in the entire world. Example? I was a little sour about my birthday this year but a few of my friends made sure to get me in the right mind set for it, and threw me a small early bday surprise dinner. best.present.ever. the thoughtfulness that these individuals put into everything they do is unbelievable.
2. i have a fantastic education. and i love it. i am lucky to have my previous degree and i am even more lucky to be at Johns Hopkins pursuing my Masters. I love the program, the professors and the classmates that I have met along the way. The bond between us at times can be extremely intense, being in a counseling field. I am lucky to experience that.
3. I have had many, many life experiences. Hurt, loss, joy, suffering - all of it. I am lucky to have had these experiences. These experiences do make you stronger, and do help shape who you are and where you will go.
4. i am in good health. i may not be the healthiest person, but i have my health. i have recently learned that for many people that is not something we are all blessed with. my father is very, very sick with progressive diabetes. watching what poor health can do to a person physically, emotionally and spiritually has been a very hard experience. but, it has taught me to realize that i am lucky to have my health.
5. i know what i want. i am so lucky to have that. so many people in life, especially people my age do not know what they want. but i do. i know what i want in my career, love life, family life, social life - and what values i want lead my life by. i know exactly what i want. i may beat around the bush, i may seem unsure of the minor details of life. but the big picture? i know exactly what i want. i know i may not get it, but that is not going to stop me. i am lucky to have already have figured that out.
6. i have people that support me no matter what. my family has watched me fall and make some mistakes but they supported my learning process. my friends (past & present) have done the same. the people that are in my life at this moment? unconditional support. un-freaking-conditional. i am sure i have done things more recently that has made people close to me say, "what is she thinking?!" but they supported me. i am so lucky to have that.
7. i have a roof over my head and a comfortable living situation. im 25 and i live at home. i hate it. but, its there. its home - for now. i am not on the street, i am not forced to move out before i can find the right place and time.
8. i have someone right now who has given me the ability to let go and have fun. keeps me on my toes. makes me feel lucky. spontaneous. reminds me to have fun and quit being so serious. helps me realize how lucky i am to have everything i do have. its a pure feeling.
9. i have opportunities. so many of them. they are going to take me far, and i cannot wait to enjoy the ride.
10. i have my sanity! haha no, but i feel lucky to be ME. i am who i am. and i have finally realized that THAT IS OK. its better than ok. it's fierce. and boy so i feel lucky to be fierce.
I decided that if I write a list of all of the reasons that I am lucky then it will make it more eye-opening, I can see it in front of me instead of the thoughts dancing around in my head. I have totally rejected the idea of punctuation, capitalization, spelling - etc in this post so its more real and natural for me. So without further a due, I am lucky because...
1. i have fantastic friends. i know i say it a lot but I really mean it. I feel like I have the most amazing friends in the entire world. Example? I was a little sour about my birthday this year but a few of my friends made sure to get me in the right mind set for it, and threw me a small early bday surprise dinner. best.present.ever. the thoughtfulness that these individuals put into everything they do is unbelievable.
2. i have a fantastic education. and i love it. i am lucky to have my previous degree and i am even more lucky to be at Johns Hopkins pursuing my Masters. I love the program, the professors and the classmates that I have met along the way. The bond between us at times can be extremely intense, being in a counseling field. I am lucky to experience that.
3. I have had many, many life experiences. Hurt, loss, joy, suffering - all of it. I am lucky to have had these experiences. These experiences do make you stronger, and do help shape who you are and where you will go.
4. i am in good health. i may not be the healthiest person, but i have my health. i have recently learned that for many people that is not something we are all blessed with. my father is very, very sick with progressive diabetes. watching what poor health can do to a person physically, emotionally and spiritually has been a very hard experience. but, it has taught me to realize that i am lucky to have my health.
5. i know what i want. i am so lucky to have that. so many people in life, especially people my age do not know what they want. but i do. i know what i want in my career, love life, family life, social life - and what values i want lead my life by. i know exactly what i want. i may beat around the bush, i may seem unsure of the minor details of life. but the big picture? i know exactly what i want. i know i may not get it, but that is not going to stop me. i am lucky to have already have figured that out.
6. i have people that support me no matter what. my family has watched me fall and make some mistakes but they supported my learning process. my friends (past & present) have done the same. the people that are in my life at this moment? unconditional support. un-freaking-conditional. i am sure i have done things more recently that has made people close to me say, "what is she thinking?!" but they supported me. i am so lucky to have that.
7. i have a roof over my head and a comfortable living situation. im 25 and i live at home. i hate it. but, its there. its home - for now. i am not on the street, i am not forced to move out before i can find the right place and time.
8. i have someone right now who has given me the ability to let go and have fun. keeps me on my toes. makes me feel lucky. spontaneous. reminds me to have fun and quit being so serious. helps me realize how lucky i am to have everything i do have. its a pure feeling.
9. i have opportunities. so many of them. they are going to take me far, and i cannot wait to enjoy the ride.
10. i have my sanity! haha no, but i feel lucky to be ME. i am who i am. and i have finally realized that THAT IS OK. its better than ok. it's fierce. and boy so i feel lucky to be fierce.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
A Second Ode to Favorites!
Cheers to my fellow OCS sufferer, Prashant! Here we are celebrating New Years! Clearly being emotional because we are soo blessed! Haha!
I am so glad I will be celebrating his 25th birthday tonight! He is super fierce! Prahant and I have been friends for about ten years now (woah). He is one of the only people I know (other than myself) that embraces his OCS.
For those of you that dont know, OCS is a very serious disturbance relating to "Only Child Syndrome". We require the best, and by gosh we get it. We whine, we stomp, we expect too much of other people, and we put them before we put ourselves. With age we have learned to share, although the thought makes us cringe. We take too long to get ready and realize the importance of the perfect look for a important occasion. You have something we want? We will get it. You want something? We will remember and make sure that we are that wonderful person to get it for you. Our friends and family come first. Our foes, well we know all about them too. We were born alone, no siblings to grow up with. Our friends became our siblings. We are our own best friends, and if you are lucky then maybe you too.
Prashant embodies all of that. He is also HYSTERICAL. Like seriously, I know people with OCS are full of themselves and I dont want to blow him up even more but he cracks me up. If I have had a lame day and I talk to him, then I know I will laugh and enjoy myself for that time. He also is dating a super fly homie of mine...keepin' that fly lady on his arm. Holler!
So, tonight I am celebrating his 25th birthday. He tells me a bunch of people will be there...and some adults. I said, P...WE ARE ADULTS. Guess sometimes people like him who embrace life forget that they are adults since they live life to the fullest. So fierce!
I am so glad I will be celebrating his 25th birthday tonight! He is super fierce! Prahant and I have been friends for about ten years now (woah). He is one of the only people I know (other than myself) that embraces his OCS.
For those of you that dont know, OCS is a very serious disturbance relating to "Only Child Syndrome". We require the best, and by gosh we get it. We whine, we stomp, we expect too much of other people, and we put them before we put ourselves. With age we have learned to share, although the thought makes us cringe. We take too long to get ready and realize the importance of the perfect look for a important occasion. You have something we want? We will get it. You want something? We will remember and make sure that we are that wonderful person to get it for you. Our friends and family come first. Our foes, well we know all about them too. We were born alone, no siblings to grow up with. Our friends became our siblings. We are our own best friends, and if you are lucky then maybe you too.
Prashant embodies all of that. He is also HYSTERICAL. Like seriously, I know people with OCS are full of themselves and I dont want to blow him up even more but he cracks me up. If I have had a lame day and I talk to him, then I know I will laugh and enjoy myself for that time. He also is dating a super fly homie of mine...keepin' that fly lady on his arm. Holler!
So, tonight I am celebrating his 25th birthday. He tells me a bunch of people will be there...and some adults. I said, P...WE ARE ADULTS. Guess sometimes people like him who embrace life forget that they are adults since they live life to the fullest. So fierce!
Friday, January 8, 2010
An Ode to Myself...
There is nothing wrong with an ode to yourself once in a while. A little pride didn't hurt anybody! Sometimes, you have to remember to be your own number one fan. I choose to do that today. I woke up with an extra spark today, that extra fiery energy. I think that once in a while, you should take advantage of that extra spark and use it to your advantage, to remind yourself how fierce you are! I am extra fierce today, for I found out I got straight As this semester for the 3rd semester in a row! I don't care if I am "tooting my own horn", or sound conceited. I worked my butt off to get there, and I will scream it from the rooftops if I have to.
Not only did I score straight As, but I also got them while being in grad school full time AND working full time (sometimes even 40+ hours a week). Not to mention, I had quite the social life too :) I will say, that without the support of my friends I am not sure how focused I would be. They supported me when I did not do so well, and helped push me to do better, and eventually kick major butt in grad school. A little extra special love to my ladies Nicole and Heather who lived with me and pushed me through my school rut, even when I refused to get out of bed to go to class! :)
I know this pic is sooooo old, but I thought it was fun - plus it was when all 3 of us were living together!
Hopefully once in a while you will take a day, or even an hour to celebrate you. Celebrate your accomplishments, how hard you work, what a good person you are, and your overall awesomeness! So, heres to you...and of course heres to me :)
Not only did I score straight As, but I also got them while being in grad school full time AND working full time (sometimes even 40+ hours a week). Not to mention, I had quite the social life too :) I will say, that without the support of my friends I am not sure how focused I would be. They supported me when I did not do so well, and helped push me to do better, and eventually kick major butt in grad school. A little extra special love to my ladies Nicole and Heather who lived with me and pushed me through my school rut, even when I refused to get out of bed to go to class! :)
I know this pic is sooooo old, but I thought it was fun - plus it was when all 3 of us were living together! Hopefully once in a while you will take a day, or even an hour to celebrate you. Celebrate your accomplishments, how hard you work, what a good person you are, and your overall awesomeness! So, heres to you...and of course heres to me :)
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