An ode to 2010...

Here is the post. The post we've all been waiting for. The wonderful New Years post. Ah, what will my new years resolution(s) be? What fierce last words will I have for 2009? A lot of pressure here. First, I decide that I am so ready for 2010. Like, I REALLY mean it. I am so ready for a new year and all of the surprises it will bring. I had a crucial relaization the other night while on a little venture in the woods off 95 - nbd. I cant live my life scared to do things...with restrictions...no more what ifs. I need to live in the moment. To all my counseling buffs...I need to live in the "here and now".

So I am going to do just that. Tomorrow is going to be FANTASTIC. I get to spend it with almost all of my favorite people in the ENTIRE world. What is a better way to ring in 2010? People that make me laugh, make me a better person and people that have helped me through the bumps in the road of 2009.

Last year - NYE 2009 - with newly engaged Buliciousssssssss :)

I dont know what 2010 has in store for me. I cannot prepare for it. I can try to - take it each day as it comes. Living in the moment. I dont know much. But I do know that I get to enjoy it with my favorites. Sooo fierce! :)

An Ode to Favorites

Once again I have been inspired by Madeline's fantastic blog! She has been doing a little orniment of the day post. I have been somewhat inspired by doing something I like to call an ode to a favorite! Maybe weekly (if you all are lucky), I have decided I am going to do a post dedicated to the fantastic people in my life.

This past year has not been easy by any means. I struggled with living at home, (ew too old for this), school is kicking my ass, money is tough, i recently ended a very long term relationship, loosing touch with loved ones, sick family members...etc etc. However I know that I absolutely could not have gotten through it the way that i did without the help and support of my tremendous friends. Nicole - your email inspired this too dear :)

First thing is first. When I post these, it is in NO particular order. I love all of my friends for many different reasons in many different ways. All of you have inspired me in one way or another. All of you have given me strength and blessed me with wonderful friendships.

So I decided to start with my quasi little sister SAMMY! She is the ultimate freak. High strung. Emo ;). Intense. Honest. Too honest. Dedicated to her friends. The type of person that would do anything for anyone. In certain situations (not all) she is wise beyond her years. She is a smart ass. Hysterical. She is a younger and a bit more emo version of myself. When we fight im sure its because I see a little of myself in her. I dont want her to make the same mistakes that I did. I want her to learn from me, and exceed that. I give her tough love. But you know what? She gives it right back. As much as we fight I do have one memory that I will never forget. I could be more angry with her than I have ever been, but I know this memory will stick with me forever. Lets just say that it was a tough day. A horrible night, on top of a tough morning. I didn't sleep at all the night before. Dragged myself out of bed. Went to work (at camp with her). I got to work and without saying anything there was a tremendous energy between us. She knew. She JUST knew. We hugged. I cried. She might have cried too. It was for that moment that when my entire world had stopped that I felt ok. She JUST knew. She was there. She helped me though it.

So as much crap as I give you just know that I love you Sammy, my little emo freak. :)

I don't ever want the people in my life to ever think that I overlook their unconditional love and support. So from time to time, I want to continue to give them a shout out on here, to remind them and to let all my followers know how much they mean to me.

xoxo

Organization

In the spirit of Madeline's wonderful blog A Big To-Do I have have found something rather inappropriate that I feel I need for Christmas. Madeline had posted wonderfully inappropriate ornaments, that I have already passed on to my mother to be added to my stocking. As I was looking online, I found something else I felt that I needed.

Sadly, Christmas is next week. I'm sure Santa and his elves have already gotten my gifts all packaged and ready to go! However, for those of you that know I am a chronic list maker, I feel that these tabs would be essential to my life of organization. Unfortunately, I STILL cannot figure out how to post pictures on here because I am super cool. So here is the link instead.

I feel that it would help me embrace the funny side of life, while trying to stay overly organized.

Last night, I went out for happy hour with my ladies (as we try to do almost every Wednesday). We are all such serious planners that I brought my 2009 AND 2010 planner in case of a planning emergency. I did not realize until just now how lame I am. Officially.

Something Fierce

Lets start by clearing something up. I love the word fierce. I overuse it. I bend the definition. To me it means gorg, deeeeeevtastic, amazing...etc etc. Basically all things positive. Most of all Erin and I have hand motions/signals that correlate to the use of fierce.

In the spirit of my compulsive list making I have decided to list all things fierce in my eyes.

1. My girlfriends. So fierce, cant even describe it!
2. Fingerless gloves. I said it. I make them look good baby.
3. Big gigantic rings. HUGE...borderline tacky. Fierce.
4. Saying fierce in a fierce voice. Like with big time sass.
5. Overall attitude. Not over the top. Not attention seeking. Not rude. But knowing what you want.
6. Education. To me, being well educated is so fierce.
7. Boots. Flat boots. Heeled boots. Booties.
8. Passion. Passion for life. Being passionate about something. That passion you feel with someone. Now that is fierce.
9. Michael Jackson "The Way You Make Me Feel". I don't care what anyone says. That song is my power song. When I hear it it makes me feel SO FIERCE. Its playing right now at work actually. It is taking every ounce of me not to get up and get real right now.
10. Life. I know, i know. So generic. Not specific enough. What you make of it. I choose to wake up everyday - regardless of what curve ball life has thrown at me and be fierce. I have a dance off with myself every morning. After that I walk out the door with my big ring & fingerless gloves on, knowing that I am fierce.

Get. Real. With. That.

Adding some postivity to the mix...

Today is the 7th day of working in a row. On top of school. I hate myself right now. Well not really, but lets juts say im in a foul mood. So...as a way to get myself out of this funky mood I have decided to talk about my favorite things! I figured it would perk me up :)

1. making lists (as you can see). i make lists for everything. and have sub-categories within each list. like my christmas gifts list. oh man. i have each person i am getting a gift for, what im getting them and then a seperate list for each store and what to buy there! wow i never realized how terribly lame that was until now.

2. my day planner. i love writing appointments in there (including happy hours with my favorites!) i am so busy that if i dont write something down then it wont happen. i seriously love it. as matter of fact, i am seriously conisdering getting it out right now...

3. coffee. i love coffee but it was to be sweet. hazelnut?! yes. starbucks white mocha? yes. vanilla latte? yes.

4. the internet/online shopping. i am not even going to begin to explain this one. lets just say i am addicted.

5. wine. dear lord i love me some wine. food is a way to a mans heart, huh? well wine is the way to mine. oh wait. i cant forget margaritas. they give me serious indigestion, but i am totally ok with that. its worth it.

6. football. redskins. london fletcher. enough said.

7. music. i love music. i love 80s music, early awful 90s music, anything i can dance to and slow jams. perf. sometimes i love emo music because my little emo friend sammy plays it all the time.

8. target. i love how when i go there to buy one thing. ONE thing. i leave spending at least $80. i love the target ads every sunday too.

9. pictures. i love taking them. i love being in them. i love posting them online (although i do not know how to do that on here yet). i love having them all over my room. they are the best memories. i love capturing the moment.

10. saved the best for last. my friends. all of them. every last one. i cannot even begin to explain how blessed i am to have such wonderfully supportive people in my life. uncondional support. it is so rare. if i were to even try to explain the friendships i have it would be insanely long and probably a little emotional, so for the purpose of my happy blog i am going to leave it at that.


ok i figure ten for now would be enough. i have cheered up a bit. maybe its due to talking about my favorite things. or maybe its due to the 3rd redbull ive had today.

Making time...

Time for me to be totally and overwhelmingly frantic! Its time for Christmas shopping!! Right now I am working 6 OR 7 days a week (in addition to being a FULL TIME graduate student). Due to this, I am finding that I have zero time to Christmas shop, eat, sleep, have a social life or even take 5 min to myself for that matter. Even though any sane person would not have time, I make time. I make time to see friends. I make time for homework. I make time. I am exhausted and dragging but I have made time. My hair is in shambles, I have bags under my eyes and I am currently running on 2 sugar free red bulls. But...I have made the time. My next thought is how I am going to make the time to get coffee after work and before class. I need to make time for that.

Accident or unconsciously on purpse?

I came face to face with a typical Lindsay moment. Seriously, the definition of my life.

I have had this car for 5 years. 5 long years I have spent trying not to put miles on my car because I had done a 5 year lease. I know that if you go over the set mileage then when you turn the car in you owe a BIG chunk of change. So five years to the day would be a few days before Christmas this year, and I have just under 60,000 miles. Lame...i know.

Anyway, I contacted the dealer to find out how I go about turning the car in and such since the date is about four weeks away. I have been getting super pumped to start looking at new cars. Although, the thought of having to buy and pay for a car right now terrifies me (i am still a full time student and have yet to enter my "big girl job"). Anyway, the dealer informed me that i have one last payment to make and then the car is mine. WHAT? I own the car. Five years ago, little 19 year old me didn't realize it but bought the car instead of leasing it. I have one payment left and then the car is 100% mine and 100% paid off. So without knowing five years ago I purchased a car. By accident.

defintions and introductions

My favorite definition of ode...

"A lyric poem of some length, usually of a serious or meditative nature and having an elevated style and formal stanzaic structure." Sounds fierce, huh?

Right now I choose 2010. I am so ready for everything to come that year (25th birthday, Heathers wedding!!!!, and a fresh start). So ready to put 2009 very, very, very far behind me. I choose new memories, new pictures, my wonderfully supportive friends, family and a new me. I choose for 2010 to be an ode to myself, an ode to me. So come on, lets get through these next few weeks. At least from now until then I will be with my most favorite people ever. I feel pretty lucky to have this time of the year in the company of such fantastic people. People who never judge, constantly support and get me to "get real"...

People who support my ode to myself...xoxo